3/21/2016 LAST TREATMENT!!! Hooray, it's finally finished!! I am not giddy with excitement, but more relieved with a sense of calmness and well-being. I said goodbye to my radiation buddy Maureen, (who knew Ruthie), and to Don the Marine. (Actually, Rena said goodbye to him for me. I did not cross paths with him today, but she saw him in the waiting room.) A hug from one of the techs and several congratulatory remarks from others on staff were heartily recieved. I left some chocolate treats for everyone to say "thank you". So, I figured that was it, but I am having some end of radiation skin issues and they want to see me back in one month just to check on the healing. That's ok. The doctor prescribed another cream that will speed up the healing on the raw spots. He said I should see a good difference in two weeks or less. The office will call me in 2 weeks to check on my progress, also. I got my "Certificate of Completion" and Rena and I shared some impromptu tears, but they were happy tears! She took the day off of work to go with me and we had a nice late lunch afterward to celebrate. Sighhhhhhh. Deep breaths....it's finally over for now! Nine months of healing until I have the reconstructive surgery next January. It's all good and such a huge relief. I am forever grateful, thoughtful, prayerful and just so amazed at the whole process. And the disease of breast cancer, or any cancer is monumental. It's quite a journey. Thank you all so much for following me and for all your prayers and positive thoughts. It has meant the world to me!! Now, back to a more normal life!!! :) :) :)
Love Always, Shelley 3/16/2016 I have a habit of saying "Nothing is set in stone" and "Just wait, things will change. They always do!" It's so true. Never say never and you must be flexible with life. I got really sick over the weekend with a flu-like upper respiratory thing. Chills, fever, headache, body aches, horrible cough, the whole 9 yards. Still fighting it, but it's much better today. Well, that caused me to miss my Dad's 92 birthday and my treatment on Monday. So now I will (MOST LIKELY) be finished on Monday the 21st, as long as I don't miss any more! That's ok, I don't have anything else I must do these days anyway!! My young radiation friend "graduated" yesterday. They gave her a certificate like I got after finishing chemo. We (me and another man/patient) clapped and cheered for her. I was very careful to keep my distance from everyone and not hug or shake hands. I'm still sick, just not as bad. I'm sure some folks would go on with their usual days, coughing at work, sneezing/blowing at the store, but I am so much more aware now of people who really need to be careful not to get sick. It's best to be more cautious, not less. Even the doctor stayed 3 feet away from me yesterday! (He has 4 little kids.) Another woman who I have been chatting with at radiation worked with my Aunt Ruthie at Sister's years ago. She (as does everyone!) gushed about what a wonderful person Ruthie was and how glad she was to have worked with her. She is a nice lady, herself! Small world. So many connections if you look for them. People are what makes life so interesting and enjoyable! So, Happy St. Patrick's Day and on we go... I'm leaning into the finish line!!
Love, Shelley
3/11/2016 Lots of things were happening this week and it seemed to fly by. (One concerning event is my brother-in-law, George, has been hospitalized. Prayers would be much appreciated.) On a happier note, I had my check-up with the oncologist and everything looks good! They told me (I had to ask, nobody has said anything til now!), I am considered "cancer free" at this point, so that is great news to hear!! Hallelujah!!! I will be closely monitored for quite some time, which is fine with me. The fatigue is right on schedule, according to the doctors, and could last up to a few weeks after treatment is finished on the 18th. My skin is still holding up well, with just more redness appearing. I'm being very faithful with the lotions they recommended. So it's all good heading into my last week of radiation! It's been a long haul and I'm so glad to be near the end of the treatment. Next comes 9 months of skin healing and then the reconstructive surgery next January. I think I can breathe easier and get back to normal life for a good long time!! Thank you so much for all of your prayers and good wishes. It really means alot to me! I'll let you know how things finish up next week. In the meantime, my Dad turns 92 this weekend! So much to be thankful for......
Love, Shelley
3/3/2016 Yikes! I had a weird day yesterday. I felt pretty crummy and very tired. I guess maybe that is the fatigue part of the radiation, but it hit me like a ton of bricks. I have been sleeping pretty well overall, so it's not that I'm not getting my 8 hours in. I just felt spent, exhausted, and very headachy. So after treatment and a late lunch with my dear friend (of 56 yrs!) Rena, (she has been able to accompany me on Wednesdays and it's a great excuse to go out for lunch at 2pm), I went home, got into comfy clothes and slept for almost 3 hours! I feel better today, so far anyway, so I guess I just need to be mindful of pacing myself and not overdoing it too much as I head toward the finish line. I'm just over half-way through radiation and I am starting to have minor side effects on my skin, but nothing lotion and hydrocortisone cream can't handle at this point. Mostly just itching, and the skin feels very tight. There is some color change, too. All normal. Tomorrow after treatment we go to see the oncologist for a check-up. Steve will come with me to see what he has to say. I see one of the radiological oncologists every Monday at treatment. This appointment will be with my main cancer oncologist who is overseeing the whole treatment process. He was the chemotherapy doctor, too. I'm getting closer to being finished and spring is right around the corner!! Hurray!!
Love, Shelley
2/26/2016 We had a busy week and I am feeling the fatigue! I am sleeping plenty at night, but still get so tired by late afternoon. It was Steve's Mom's 91st birthday on Tuesday. I wanted to treat her to a big homemade dinner since she doesn't cook much anymore. And really, all those huge dinners she has made for us over the years...how can you ever pay that back?! Well, I know she loves shrimp, so I made shrimp scampi with whole wheat pasta, peas, broccoli (also some of her favorites), and sweet red peppers. Since not everyone loves shrimp, (hard to believe, I know!), I also made chicken scampi! A chocolate cherry birthday cake, (it was easy to make), and a big tossed salad with toasted almonds, avocados and oranges rounded out the menu. There was alot of cutting, chopping and cooking involved, but to me it was well worth the effort! It was my gift to her. We sang Happy Birthday and Kevy Jr ( 2 1/2 yrs old) helped blow out the candles. His favorite part is clapping and singing, I think. Sam's (21 mos old) favorite part is the eating and Dominic's ( 8 mos old) is watching the big boys in action. :) There were 14 of us and it was a fun, celebratory evening. What a joyous occasion! Well, I'm off to treatment. It is sort of inconvenient being right smack in the middle of the day. I just get started on something and then have to leave the house. But, it's temporary, and won't be forever. Only a few more weeks! My last treatment is supposed to be Mar 18th. There are 28, not 30 as I originally thought. (I assumed 30, since they said 5 days a week for 6 weeks.) I just pray that it all works and I can put illness behind me and wellness in front of me very soon!!
Love, Shelley
2/18/2016 There hasn't been much to write about lately. I am continuing my radiation treatments 5 days a week and it is going fine so far. I lotion up the area 3 times a day to avoid any skin peeling or break down. I use the rich Eucerin as they suggested, and the cream they provide in the dressing room. I don't know the name, but it's very rich and creamy as well. They also recommended a special cream called Miaderm that is available online. It just so happens that a pharmacy in Lockport carries it, so I will check it out. It is formulated especially for radiation. It contains aloe vera, calendula, and hyaluronate. It was developed by radiation oncologists to relieve the skin problems associated with radiation. One formula also contains lidocaine to relieve the pain of the "sunburn" effects of redness, itching, and burning. Knock on wood, I haven't had any of that YET. But it's only been one week so far! They told me that most people have some of those side effects at some point, starting at around two weeks or more into treatment. I have met two people in the last two days at the Center who struck up conversation. One is a young woman, age 36, who is also fighting breast cancer. She recognized me from the chemo center a few months back. She had hair then, I was bald. We have traded places! She was so excited to see me with a little hair! I told her that hers will be back soon. She is so young...it is a tough thing to go through. She asked me "Can I hug you?" and I almost cried. Today a man named Don gave me a C ration opener to see if my Dad remembers them. Don was a Marine, but he is way younger than Dad. I am guessing Viet Nam was his war. (I'm so bad at guessing ages, but he said his mom died at age 93.) He is being treated for prostate cancer. I will pray for them and all who are sick, suffering, and undergoing treatment. So, on we go, meeting others who are struggling and sharing our stories. It's a beautiful, sunny day today! I am so grateful for every minute of it.....
Love, Shelley
2/12/2016 We are in the middle of a lake snow band as I write. It will make for tricky driving to get my radiation treatment. This will be #3 of 30. So far, no major events. It takes about 15 - 20 minutes to get it done. I have had some interesting diversions at the cancer center. It seems that I have my appointment at the same time as at least one, maybe two, prisoners who have been there. They are escorted by guards, of course, and a driver. All are corrections officers in uniform. The first time I saw them it was sort of a shock, unexpected. But now I hear them coming down the hall - the leg chains rattle - and it's sort of a curious thing to see. They bring them in the back way, not through the main entrance that the rest of us use. I was sitting in the inner waiting area, near the treatment rooms, already changed into a gown on my top half, when they all came traipsing in the other day. (Oh, hello there! Yes, here I am, a woman sitting alone, with just a thin gown covering me up! Good grief.) Mr. Prisoner is handcuffed and leg chained, wearing drab green heavy clothing. He looks pretty bedraggled. But, of course we all are getting cancer treatment, so maybe he isn't well. Yesterday, as I walked out of the treatment area, there were several guards and I think 2 prisoners. One leaning up against the wall and one in a conference room. (I just saw same the green pant legs in the conference room.) So, I will see who is there today to break the monotony of the daily visit! I'm going to wave or say hi one of these times and see what happens.
Love, Shelley
2/3/2016 Yesterday we went to have CT scans and measurements for the radiation therapy that will start next week. It was interesting and very precise. They use lasers that are mounted on the walls and on the scan machine to get you lined up just right. A bunch of stickers are attached to your skin and marking pens are used to draw on X's where needed. Then several rounds of scans are done. You must stay very still. I sort of meditate/pray calmly, close my eyes, and just try to relax and let go of any tension. I have gotten very good at this relaxation technique! My arms were over my head and my head was turned to the right for the whole time. I was slightly turned onto my right side, as it was my left side that was being scanned. They use inflatable air bags/pillows to hold you in position just right, inflating or deflating as needed. I still have the pen markings on me and they will remain until next week when some tiny dots will be tattooed onto me. They covered the markings with waterproof, clear stickers so I can still shower - but no scrubbing near them. I'm quite a sight with my long incision scars, (like Frankenstein), the filled expander under my skin, (like a bruised-up hardball), and green ink markings all around my chest. Why is it that people are so closed-mouthed about all these normal procedures that come with breast cancer treatment? I understand modesty and health privacy, (well, not anymore!), but knowing what to expect has a place, too. Maybe it's because patients would just like to put it all behind them and not have to remember it. I get that. No, it is not a pleasant thing to go through, or very comfortable either, but it happens every day! Prior knowledge from those who have been there would alleviate so much of the fear and anxiety that comes with dealing with cancer. It's not a big secret to be kept locked away. That's why I am writing all this - I had no idea what one goes through during this fight. I am so grateful to all the health care professionals who spend their days conducting and explaining these procedures so folks like me can get well. The doctor even came in, checked everything out, and asked if I had any questions before the scanning began. They have very full plates to deal with every day...the waiting rooms are always full. God bless them all!
Love, Shelley
1/27/16 It sure does make a big difference when one feels good! I have been coasting along getting better each day. I start the radiation on Feb 10th, and I am hoping there will be no major issues with it, although I have been prepped on the possible side effects. I did pay a visit to a special boutique that sells undergarments, swimsuits, etc, for ladies in my position. Son Stephen was amazed when I told him about the shop...so much we don't need to know in normal, everyday life! He thinks we should figure out way to get in on the retail end of this :) Another way we have changed our lifestyle a bit is what we eat. Not drastically, but we are more aware of what we eat and where it came from. We buy organic as much as possible and wash extra carefully and/or peel if necessary when it's not organic. We are not depriving ourselves, but, for example, we ordered pizza last night for a crowd at Steve's Mom's house. (Our usual Tuesday at Mom's.) So instead of meat-lovers pizza loaded with yummy pepperoni and sausage, we had an ample veggie pizza that was delicious, and a huge antipasto salad to accompany it. (The salad had some Italian meats in it for the meat lovers and also plenty of mozzarella cheese.) I also made homemade turkey vegetable soup with a little barley in it. It is winter, after all! I'm making no promises, however, for the Super Bowl Sunday menu!!
Stay well, be kind to yourself and others, and be grateful everyday!
Love, Shelley
1/20/2016 We met with the radiologist/oncologist yesterday at Cancer Care of WNY. A very nice place for treatment. Everyone was so nice and helpful. They seemed quite organized. So, the plan is to finish up the skin expansion with the reconstructive surgeon on the 29th. Then, a special CT scan will be taken at Cancer Care on Feb 2nd. That will be used to create a specific radiation plan for my treatment. They actually work with a physicist on this plan to ensure accuracy. Then, on the 9th a sort of "trial run" with a "port film" to be taken (I think it's a baseline type of thing) and 3 tiny tattoo dots (painless, they say!) to map the area of treatment. They will also go through proper placement of me on the table, worked out to everyone's satisfaction. My first treatment will be the next day, on the 10th. It only takes 10 - 20 minutes for each treatment. As I said before, it will be 5 days a week for 6 weeks. Each Monday I will see a doctor who will do an exam to see that all is going as planned. Who knew all this happened with radiation therapy?! In the meantime, please continue to do your self exams and have your mammograms as you should. Early detection means the best outcomes!! Be kind to yourself and others...
Love, Shelley
1/14/16 I had another appointment with the reconstructive surgeon this week. He says I am healing very well and everything is on schedule so far. He also said I am fine to drive short distances as long as the weather is ok. confused. They just don't want any big twisting or straining on the left arm...so no sharp, skidding turns! I will have one more visit with him in two weeks to finish filling the skin expander before I am ready for radiation. We go to see the radiation doctor next week for a consultation and to arrange the radiation schedule. I'm assuming it will start the first or second week of Feb. Feb 3rd will be 8 weeks from surgery, so the timing is perfect. In the meantime, I went to the dentist for a long-awaited cleaning and made an appointment for next week to have an old filling replaced where a small cavity has started. (Booo!) So many doctors, so little time!! A new issue has surfaced as my head and neck oncologic surgeon, who removed my thyroid in 2011, and has been seeing me since then for follow up, is retiring. I asked my current oncologist, who is treating me for the breast cancer, if he could take it on, but he recommended that I find a thyroid cancer specialist. My primary has suggested someone, but his office is downtown and I'm pretty spoiled about sticking closer to home, if possible. I have "googled" many specialists who are in my area, but it's so confusing! Do I go with an ENT, an endocrinologist, or another head and neck surgeon?? Geez. It's enough to make your head spin. I have emailed my primary for further advice, so maybe she has some insight to share. I sure hope so! Until next time, stay warm and drive safely!!
Love, Shelley
1/6/2016 The health insurance racket is so frustrating! I saw my oncologist yesterday for follow-up and further instructions as we move forward. He faxed a script for the new medicine I will be on for at least 10 years to our usual Wegman's pharmacy. Well, they called and said they cannot fill it, it has to go through a new specialty pharmacy, and needs authorization, according to our insurance coverage. So, several phone calls later, I think it is finally in the works to being filled. So much for starting it today! I will need to call again later this afternoon to be sure they got the fax from the doctor, then it will be delivered to me somehow. I guess a few days won't matter, but the red tape is maddening. I have been feeling SO much better, and I love the break from the daytime fatigue and other maladies that have plagued me. I'm still pretty tired in the evenings, but who isn't?! All the docs agree that I am healing well, and that everything looks good so far. My thyroid levels are way better, and that helps alot, too. My next step is an appointment with the radiologist, who will determine exactly when those treatments will start. (The oncologist sends him a "script" to get things started.) If I don't hear from that office by Friday, I am supposed to call the oncologist's office back. The reconstructive surgeon also needs to finish his skin/muscle expansion before I start the radiation. I see him again on Tuesday. All these docs conferring to get on the same page is like wrangling a bunch of squirrels, so it takes constant questioning and managing of details when I see each one, and office phone calls inbetween if something goes awry. In the meantime, I have been cooking our Sunday and Tuesday dinners for the family (8-15 people), with Steve helping when needed, and I am doing laundry today. Big changes for me! Steve is still on heavy cleaning and grocery shopping duty, though. My range of motion in my left arm is quite good, but the oncologist still said he would rather I not drive yet, which kind of surprised me. Something to do with fluid build-up and swelling from the "repetitive motions". (???) Anyway, he said they are still being very wary of the lymphedema that can occur after my type of surgery and I should still take it pretty easy. So my chauffeur is still on call for now!
Love, Shelley
12/30/2015 It was the best of times, it was the worst of times!! That is how I would describe 2015 in a nutshell. It all started off so well...a fabulous trip to St. Lucia with our good friends the Jaus Family... a lovely and festive family wedding weekend in Austin, Texas uniting our nephew, Kamal, and his beautiful bride, Angelica Borjas, (and a great time exploring Austin with our cousins Dan and Mary Lynne!)....and a fun-filled visit with good friends Mary Jean and Kevin Murphy in Houston where we partied til the cows came home, (literally, we went to the Houston Rodeo and saw the Blake Shelton concert at the NRG stadium!). To top off the grand events of the year, our sweet, handsome, Dominic Stephen, grandson #3, was born on June 11 (with much fanfare in the hospital parking lot and main entrance for dramatic effect!) to parents Kevin and Alyson and big brother Kevin Jr. So much to be grateful for!!
Then, of course, the bottom dropped out and Steve and I found ourselves in the midst of the cancer treatment journey, a trip nobody wants to take, a selective club nobody wants to join.
Thankfully, we have made it through the toughest parts - chemo and surgery, and I am feeling pretty darn good these days all things considered! My eyebrows and eyelashes are starting to sprout, and I have some whispy hair trying to re-establish a colony on my previously bald head. I haven't lost any nails and they are healing, too. All good signs!! I am recovering well from the surgery and doing my exercises for range of motion and strength. In a few weeks I will start the radiation treatments, which I am expecting to be much "easier" than chemo. I am told that fatigue and superficial skin redness (like a sunburn) are the most likely side effects. I will have 6 weeks, 5 days a week, of treatment. So, we are getting toward the finish line, slowly but surely. I am so grateful for all the support, encouragement and love from family and friends, and for the expertise of the doctors and health care providers on this continuing journey. Thank you so much!!
I hope you have a very Happy New Year and that 2016 will be filled with blessings for you and yours!
Love, Shelley
12/19/2015 There is so much involved in fighting this cancer, but I am feeling like some progress is finally being made. I have had 2 visits to the reconstructive surgeon for post-surgical follow-ups so far. He is in charge of the all after-care since I have chosen to have reconstruction on the affected side. He said I should be ready for radiation therapy 8 weeks after the surgery date. He and the oncologist will confer on this in several weeks. Today he removed the final drain and injected saline into the "spacer" that will help stretch the chest wall muscle and prepare the skin for an implant way down the road. (This is not the final/permanent implant. That will come 9 months after radiation is completed!) I felt no pain from either procedure as most of the area is still numb from the surgery. I had alot of lymph node dissection under my arm, so nerves will be regenerating for a while. I do have some nerve pain going on in my arm, even though there was no surgery done there. It stings and burns! Makes sleeping difficult, too. And there is some significant discomfort in my underarm and chest area, as you can imagine. I'm glad there is still some numbness... but it will subside as I heal. It all means getting closer to normal, or at least my "new normal", so on we go! I can start the physical therapy exercises that have been recommended at home. If I don't get the range of motion back to the doc's satisfaction, he will send me out to a therapist. He did say to be patient, take my recovery slowly and easy, and that I will take a little longer to heal than what they first thought because of the significant lymph node involvement in the surgery. I wish you all a very Merry Christmas and joyful times with your family and friends!
Love, Shelley
12/8/2015 Just a note to say I'm healing and doing pretty well so far. I'm sore and taking it easy this week, as I was told to by the docs. I go for a check-up on Friday when at least one of the drains will be removed. I have two of them. All things considered, I feel pretty good and am ready to move on to the next steps. My usual Christmas routine will be disrupted though! No cards from me this year, so I wish you all a very joyous season with family and friends, and a New Year filled with blessings!
Love, Shelley
12/3/2015 Friends, Shelley's surgery went exactly as planned and she is resting as comfortably as she can. She is expected to come home tomorrow. Grateful thanks for all your good thoughts and prayers - we felt every single one today.
12/1/15 Wow, it's December already! My month between chemo and surgery has flown by. I have accomplished a few of the things I had hoped to do, but not all. I have still been dealing with the whacked out thyroid hormone levels, which have kept me from feeling as good as I had planned. (My primary doc can't believe I have done anything! My counts are so off it's like running the engine with just fumes in the tank.) But I have spent some great time with family and friends in small doses and that is so good for the soul! I am ready to "get the show on the road" and have the surgery over with. All pre-op clearance is finalized and everything seems to be in place for Thursday. My Dad fell again this morning, but is ok. No hospital this time, thank God. He scraped up his arm, apparently. We will check on him later today. And one of our dogs is sick, but getting better. If all of that settles down I will have no worries going into the hospital. I should only be in for one night, according to the doctor. I can handle that. I will be sent home with a compression vest on and some drains that need to be tended to for the first week. Steve is the home healthcare aide for all of this. We will see the doctor after a week. So on we go, and the journey continues..... I will need some time to recover before I post again, so figure that "no news is good news" til then!
Love, Shelley
11/19/2015 It's only 2 weeks from today that I have my "modified radical mastectomy" surgery. My month off is flying by too fast! I have had many appointments the past two weeks. We saw the oncologist, reconstructive surgeon and thyroid surgeon. The thyroid doctor was originally for a once a year check-up. (I had my thyroid removed in 2011 due to thyroid cancer.) But after I had blood work done for that appointment it was revealed that my TSH (thyroid stimulating hormone) level was crazy low, and I'm in hypothyroid mode. Not good. Probably why I have not felt much better yet and partly to blame for continued side effects and fatigue. So, I'm on a higher dose of thyroid medicine to treat that for a time. Hopefully we will get it back to normal before too long. I had my pre-op testing done at the hospital yesterday. My chemistry is so off, I hope there will be no problems for the surgery! One more appointment to go - to my primary doc for final clearance. That will come on the 30th. Then to the hospital on Dec 3rd for the surgery. Whew! It's a whirlwind. And I thought I would be recovering this month and getting stronger!! "Piling on" happened over the weekend as my Dad fell in the middle of the night Sat/Sun and was taken by ambulance to the ER. Steve spent the night there with him. No injuries were found, but he had fluid build up in his chest that needed to be addressed, so he was admitted. He spent two nights there and was released on Tues afternoon. Needless to say, Steve has been extremely busy tending to all his patients between spending time in the hospital with Dad and chauffering me around to all my doctors!! I did go with Steve to see my Dad in the hospital on Sunday, just to check on him with my own eyes. A nurse could see that I was a chemo patient and warned me that the other side of the hallway was infectious patients....I did not go back! I'm really looking forward to Thanksgiving week and spending some time with family and close friends before the next phase of my journey begins. I truly have so much to be thankful for!! God's blessings and bounty to all of you!
Love, Shelley
11/9/15 What a nice feeling, knowing I don't have to go to chemo tomorrow! I do have 2 appointments though. One is with the reconstructive surgeon and the other with the oncologist. I hope to have some questions answered and have a better idea of what to expect with the upcoming surgery in December. I'm trying to get things settled in my mind to prepare myself. In the meantime, I hope to get whatever Christmas preparations I can manage (mostly online ordering, probably!) done and also get the house in order as best we can. Cinderfella has been doing a yeoman's job, but whenever a big event (like a trip or visitors coming) is approaching, I feel like I need to clean and organize! I think I got that gene from my Mom. And thank you, but no, I don't need help...It's more about getting my head in order than anything. And nobody can clean out my closets or dresser drawers for me!!! It's just one of those things that makes me feel prepared for what's next in life. I still do not feel that great yet, so most of this is still in the thinking stage anyway, although I did do some shoe organizing yesterday in my closet. It felt great, even if I had to flop on my bed and rest afterward for a bit! I still have profound fatigue and feel like a wimpy weakling. But as I keep saying, it can only get better now! Thank you for all the support and prayers during the chemo. I am so glad to have gotten through it without having to skip a week because of low blood levels or any other problems. The nurses said that is pretty rare. So on we go!!
Love, Shelley
11/4/2015 HURRAY!!! I have finished my chemotherapy! My last treatment was yesterday. I received a "Pink Ribbon" certificate, a peace dove pin, and several hugs from the nurses when I was ready to leave. They really were so supportive, and said to come back and say hello when I have follow-up appointments at the office. So now I will concentrate on taking really good care of myself to prepare for the surgery on Dec 3rd. I asked how long the effects of the chemo might hang around and was told it can take a good 3 weeks to feel better, but that's ok, I'm on my way! I have graduated to the next step!
Love, Shelley
10/28/2015 My sister asked me what I had planned for the "month off" before my surgery. I think it has already been scheduled for me to a point! We have several doctor appointments lined up. Some for me, some for Steve, and some for Dad. And we must not forget the pooches, Pepe and Louie. They have had to wait for their turn for several months! I think Pepe might need a teeth cleaning. Luckily, Steve did get them to the groomer recently and they look like different dogs!! They, too, have vet check-ups scheduled for the day before Halloween. I will also have the pre-op testing, another Dr visit to fit in there somewhere, too. Of course, I plan on eating well (as healthy as possible while still enjoying life!) and working on gaining some strength before the surgery, too. That means adjusting gradually to less couch time and more moving time. I have already been working on that by getting back to some dinner cooking, yoga and stretching, intentional breathing, etc. I still have up days and down days, so it's a process. I really don't know how long it will take for all the side effects to wane, so I will just have to wait and see. I will do more as I feel I can handle it. The nurse told me yesterday that I might still lose some nails over time and nobody seems to have a clue what will happen with the rashy, itchy, acne-like face I have ended up with! They said they usually see the rashes from the Taxol on arms. Of course I had to be different. They lowered the steroid dose yesterday to see if that helps. Hard to tell as I'm still very itchy and my face is the flaming red I sometimes have the day after. But, no worries really as I only have ONE MORE treatment!! I can't thank everyone enough for all the support and concern and prayers. I felt like I had so much strength behind me through this difficult phase of treatment.
Love, Shelley PS Get your flu shot...I did! You'll not only protect yourself, but folks like me with compromised immune systems, babies, and the elderly. And you CAN'T get sick from the vaccine! Honest!! There are lots of viruses floating around that you might catch by coincidence, but you don't want to get the REAL flu...just ask anyone who's had it. It's not just a bad cold, it's at least a week in bed and some end up in the hospital. Be safe!
10/23/2015 What a great night! I took a long nap yesterday, took all my chemo side effect meds, put on a ton of make-up and we made our way to the First Niagara Center to see Sir Paul. It was well worth the effort. Our seats were practically on the stage and the show was outstanding! We were so close that we could feel the intense heat from the pyrotechnics (during Live and Let Die) on our faces. The whole show did wonders for my spirits and gave me a jolt of energy to hold onto. Music is such a powerful, healing thing! And Paul McCartney is, of course, amazing. I heard water running all night (my ears ringing) and my hearing is still a little muffled today, but whatever, it was awesome!! I am anticipating another LONG nap this afternoon, however! Luckily, Steve bought a parking pass online for the ramp attached to the arena, and our seats were close to it, so we took our time walking to and from the car. Going in was fine (mostly downhill), but walking back to the car was a little more taxing - going up the stairs from our seats, up the ramps, etc. I was so worn out! But as I said, I was energized, so it all worked out fine. Only 2 more chemo treatments to go and then I will have a 4 week break to recover a bit, so things are definitely looking up!!
Love, Shelley
10/16/2015 Hello! I'm still here....a few of you wondered if I was still writing updates. I know it's been a long stretch, but there really wasn't anything new to report! I'm still having days where I feel pretty crummy and days that are better. Still dealing with annoying effects from the chemo, and still sleeping on the couch alot! I did start a post last Saturday, and never finished it. In it I was saying that I would like to try and get stronger before the next round of treatment (surgery) on Dec 3. I actually did a few things out of the ordinary to experiment how much stamina I have. I went down to the basement and got out the Halloween bin and put up a few decorations. That in itself was a huge accomplishment! I was exhausted after that. Then I really pushed the envelope and went on a BJ's shopping trip with Steve, after visiting my Dad last Saturday. Did ok until near the end when I said I would have to sit down on the floor! Steve gave me the keys and I made it to the car while he checked out. So, maybe half of a shopping trip would be ok on good days! I actually cooked our whole dinner yesterday, even though it was not a great day. Steve was coming home late, so I just went for it. So, things are coming along slowly! In the meantime, my Dad had some outpatient eye surgery, so Steve has been doing more than double duty in the caretaking department. I have been watching alot of baseball and football, and gearing up for what is still to come. Surgery, radiation, reconstructive surgery, and at least 5 years of a daily pill (I'll add it to my pile) are all in the pipeline of this cancer journey. Steve did get us tickets for the Paul McCartney concert, so I am hoping I can take enough of my anti-nausea meds that day to make it!! Something awesome to look forward to (if our tickets are legit!) and those of you who know me well know this is a HUGE thing for me... The Beatles and Paul McCartney. I listen to them during chemo to help me relax and soothe myself! Been a huge fan forever. Thank you so much for all of your continued good wishes and prayers!
Love, Shelley
9/30/2015 Had an appointment with the surgeon yesterday before chemo. Just when I felt like there was a light at the end of the tunnel, I had to face the REST of the treatment! Still, I have to look at it as making progress! My surgery date is scheduled for Dec 3rd. That will give me 4 weeks to recuperate from the chemo and try to get a little stronger before the extensive surgery that is planned. I do not need to have both sides done, and also do not have to decide if I WANT both sides done until I see the reconstructive surgeon for a consultation. I have an appointment with him on Nov 10th. So many opinions to consider, but I am leaning toward the less surgery the better approach right now. It will be a full modified radical mastectomy on the one side, for sure. All the lymph nodes will be taken from the armpit and tested, as well. He said no muscle will be taken, which I was very happy to hear. There is about a 5% chance of recurrance in the other side (which is VERY low) and it has gotten much harder to get insurance to cover the additional surgery, too. You now need to get special clearance, which, of course, most insurance companies don't want to readily approve. The Dr. said it is totally my call, a personal choice. Anyway, after I recover from surgery, there will be radiation therapy, 5 days a week for 6 weeks. So the road is still a long one, but we're getting there. In the meantime, I will concentrate on finishing up the chemo...only 5 more to go!
Love, Shelley
9/28/2015 It's been a hectic couple of weeks. Dad is still struggling with the low hemoglobin, but is holding his own. My sister Sandy came from Jackson, Wyoming to keep a close eye on him for the week after he was released from the hospital, which was very helpful. Steve was able to catch up a little at work and I did not have to worry about how Dad was doing while being unable to do anything about it! Tomorrow I have an appointment with the surgeon before my chemo session. So the process continues and we will see what his plan is. I have some questions, too, that need answers. I am feeling pretty well today - the day before chemo is usually good - but feel a nap coming on as the afternoon wears on. Only 6 more chemo treatments to go!!
Love, Shelley
9/21/2015 Good news in that my Dad is back home at Bristol Village and my sister Sandy has come from Jackson, WY to keep a close eye on him this week. He is doing well, but it is a relief to have her here for some concentrated one on one time while he settles back into his normal routine and follows up with the staff at Bristol. It also gives Steve the chance to devote more time to work and tie up some loose ends, although today he plans on golfing in the afternoon!! He needs that time to decompress. He has been so supportive in every way and having two patients this past week was a bit much, especially with time in the hospital making sure Dad was properly tended to. But we got through it and things have calmed down. I felt a little sicker this week, (maybe it was the stress) but I'm resting up for another treatment tomorrow and hoping all goes as planned! Onward and upward!
Love, Shelley
9/16/2015 We have this prayer time in our church called Joys and Concerns during worship sometimes. The idea is to raise up by name those we would like the congregation to offer up in prayer. Well, today I have joys and concerns to offer up! First the joyful thanks that my cancer seems to be reponding well to the treatments. I saw the oncologist yesterday morning before my chemotherapy. He said I'm actually tolerating the chemo very well, despite some challenges I am having, and that the tumors are barely palpable at this point. He said the big lymph node in my armpit (he said it was like a golf ball in the beginning...I thought more like one of those hard little super balls we used to bounce...but whatever), was now more like a small flat disc, barely discernable from other nodes around it. So, yay!! He lowered the benadryl dose and already lowered the steroid dose, so I am to watch for any changes this week. So far, so good, no huge differences at this point. The taxol dose will remain the same (that's the one that works on the cancer!). The others counteract the chances of allergic reations and inflammation from the stronger drug. I have the usual red face today and had the after-chemo hot sweats yesterday, but all manageable. He also advised me to make an appointment with the surgeon, so all is moving forward as planned. He thinks 3-4 weeks after my last chemo (which is Nov 3rd), I will have the surgery. He said he wished there was a magic pill for the chemo fatigue and malaise, but it's just part of the package. It will go away eventually when I'm finished. All great news. The concern is that my dad, Patrick, (he's 91) had to go to the hospital yesterday and is having some problems looked into and treated. He had some complaints of off and on problems the past few days. They did blood work at Bristol and it revealed a very low hemoglobin count. (Basically, anemia.) He had two transfusions yesterday and is being treated for an infection. Steve (the rock) took him by car and wheelchair at about 3pm and stayed with him until he was admitted to a room and settled in for the night around 1am. He's on his way back there as I write this. Steve feels like this will be a short stay and I hope he's right. He does not want me to go to the hospital (too many germs). So there you have it...prayers of joy and concern are most welcomed! And many thanks for your continued good thoughts and moral support.
Love, Shelley
9/9/2015 Yesterday's chemo treatment went without incident, business as usual. I dozed through much of it once the benadryl went in and another 3 hour nap at home followed! Steve went to check on my Dad, took care of the dogs, and went to visit his Mom while I slept at home. He had a great visit with his Mom, whom he has not been seeing as regularly as we're used to. So I'm glad he went, and brought her dinner from Romeo and Juliet's, too! (Our usual routine for the past few years has been to make dinner for her on Tuesdays and eat with her at her house. But unfortunately, that plan has been drastically disrupted this year!) His sister Joy happened to be there when he arrived, so he had a nice chance to catch up on her family news. Then, his sister Mary came over from "her side" (she lives in the same house as Mom with her family) and visited as well. Nice! It was very good time spent away from our house with family for him. Today I'm fatigued and have the usual Wednesday sunburned looking face and neck, but otherwise ok! I woke up at 2:30am and tried all my tricks to get back to sleep, with no results. The last time I looked at the clock it was 6:16. I finally dozed off sometime around 6:30 until Steve got up at 7. (He's been going into work late and trying to come home early.) That is how it's been with this new round of chemo. Several of the meds have "sleep disturbance" as a possible side effect, but I think the steroids are most likely the culprit. It only lasts for one night usually. Fridays seem to be when I feel the "sickest", and then I'll start to go uphill again! Tuesdays come around fast, though. But that's ok, only 8 more weeks to ride this rollercoaster!! Wheee...!!!!
Love, Shelley
9/3/2015 It was an eventful day at the chemo center on Tuesday. I usually fall asleep due to the heavy dose of benadryl, but there was so much commotion I stayed awake! It was a full house with almost all of the about 20 chairs and 3 private rooms occupied. It's funny, when you meet and chat with other patients you get so many different stories of what they are going through. It's sort of like getting on a plane. You might say hello to the person next to you or you can choose to put on headphones or open a book and stick to yourself. I chatted with the younger lady next to me. I think she is 45. She has stage 4 breast cancer that has spread to her liver and lungs. She was first diagnosed in 1996, was in remission for several years, but it came back more recently. She will be on "maintenence" chemo and treatments for a long time to come. She has a 12 year old son and wants to go back to work in the school system she taught in for several years...at least as an aide or class assistant. She was starting a new drug as Taxol (what I am getting) stopped working after a year, and was quite nervous about the possible side effects. Still, she drove herself to the center. Another young mom who I see almost every week came in. I don't know her story, but she had a young 10 - 11 yr old son with her one time. She limps and tripped on her flip flop, and fell to her knees on the hard floor. The nurse broke her fall and helped her into a chair. She recovered quickly and resumed the chemo process. Business as usual. An older gentleman and his slightly younger wife come together and both receive chemo. He was in really bad shape and collapsed when he tried to step on the scale. They got him into a chair, started IV fluids and monitored his blood pressure. He was so sick and could not even open his eyes or speak. They called an ambulance. While we all waited, with the chemicals flowing into our bodies, the fluids perked him up enough that he could sip a Boost/Ensure type drink and answer simple questions. He looked much better when he left with the paramedics, but his wife was quite upset and she had 1-1/2 hours left of her treatment before she could meet him at the hospital. They told her to make sure she wore a mask to the ER. Someone would come to pick her up. We all have our stories and our struggles. I pray for everyone who is suffering from illness of any kind. It's a rough road that demands strength, courage and faith. And there is always something to be thankful for...even if it's just the simple fact that maybe today you are lucky enough to not be suffering as much as the next guy. Three down, 9 more weeks to go.
Love, Shelley
8/29/2015 I need to wrap my head around the fact that things will not be "normal" for quite some time. We went to my primary doc for a check up yesterday. It was eye opening to say the least! My routine blood work was so crazy. No wonder I still don't feel very well. My "numbers" are so messed up, but she said not to worry about it for now. There's not much that can be done until the chemo is finished and I can begin to return to my usual diet, exercise, sleep routines. The good news is that the main organs that can be affected like kidneys and liver all have pretty good levels. That is a relief, at least. My chemistry is just way off and she said it's no wonder I feel crummy. I also told her that I was sad about having to give up some of my usual activites that I thought I'd be able to do by now, and that doesn't help matters in the attitude department! She said she would NOT recommend teaching Sunday School, bowling, or alot of regularly scheduled "people events" simply because my immune system is so shot and I still need to be very careful about being around people who may have colds or viruses. And of course, back to school means more of the spread of colds, etc. She said to pick and choose wisely and ask if anyone is or has been sick lately.confused. So many new rules... I still have the tail end of the cold virus that has plagued me since the beginning of July, too. So, if you see me wearing a "surgical" face mask, it's just to protect me! She also said to continue to skip the driving for now as my blood pressure is all over the board and I'm a little shaky. She (and Steve) worry about dizzy spells...So, 10 more weeks of this and maybe things will change a bit as we go along. All I can say is the Yankees better have a strong finish and the Bills...well, we can only hope for the best!! It's a new season, after all!
Love, Shelley
8/24/2015 Now that summer is winding down and all the activities of Sept. are looming, I see more clearly just how sick I still apparently am. Darn it all. I wish I was able to jump back into the game, attending my church meetings and looking forward to bowling (and lunch!) with my friends, but it just isn't going to happen yet. I felt so good last Thursday, my last post. But Friday the sick feeling came back again, I slept most of the day away, and it took Saturday and Sunday to get to where I'm feeling ok again today. It was my first round of the new chemo, so maybe it will take a couple of weeks to get used to how it will be going for the next 11 weeks. It is a little scary knowing I don't have that extra week of cushion in between treatments! But, it was the first, so maybe the next will be different. Overall, I do feel somewhat better than with the last treatments, but still not well enough to get back to "real life". The malaise and fatigue are still present, although the digestive issues seem to be better. That is a good thing! I have another Dr appt at the end of the week with my primary for a check on how things are going. I am still shaky and lightheaded alot, so I still have not been able to drive, not that I am going anywhere anyway! So for me it's still one day at a time, appreciating the good days and getting through the not so good days, looking forward to when I feel well again. It can't come soon enough!! It gets pretty old after a while. Steve is taking a break to golf this afternoon, which he needs, too! Hope you can do something good for yourself today that brings you some happiness and peace.
Love, Shelley
8/20/2015 Just got back from the cardiologist check up. All good news, no heart problems!! Yay! I had another EKG in the office, so that helps make me feel better about checking this off my list of worries. I've had so many tests in the last 2 months it's like a 60,000 mile service that's done, and I got my inspection sticker! I feel amazingly good for being two days after chemo. Pretty tired, but not totally sick like usual. It feels great to be able to eat without problems! So, things are looking up and I hope this trend continues! Now, I'm going to rest for a while....
Love, Shelley
8/19/2015 The first treatment of the second round went well yesterday. Apparently, it is not uncommon for people to have an allergic-type reaction to the Taxol (drug), so they give IV Benadryl along with the steroids. I got sleepy very quickly and slept/dozed through most of the rest of the treatment. Then slept for 3 hours when we got home, too! Today I have some of the reactions that can occur, especially a flaming red face. I've had that before though, so I'm not worried. It can be from the steroid or the Benadryl. I feel pretty good otherwise! Dry mouth and eyes, and pretty tired, but not too worrisome. As usual, tomorrow and Friday will be the big test. Those are always the worst days, especially on my gut. Unfortunately, we have to go to the cardiologist for a follow up tomorrow morning. We already cancelled once and this is the rescheduled appointment. I hope I can make it! I'm making some ginger and herbal tea to help keep my stomach in order (thanks Marce!) so my water is boiling... I keep a big pitcher in the fridge. It helps with the fluid intake! Hope you are having a great day and counting your blessings, as I am!
Love, Shell
8/15/2015 It's funny how the same thing every day can get pretty boring, pretty fast! My head is ready to get off the couch and out the door, but my body has not caught up yet! I have had a few diversions though this week. My friend, Amy, who has been helping move her son to North Carolina, stopped by so we could catch up. It was great to see her. Still, I visited from the couch. And Louie, one of our little dogs, has a bum knee that has been really bothering him, so it was time for a vet visit. Steve was prepared to take him alone, but you know how I am about my dogs, so I felt like I needed to go to hear everything. (Plus, Louie has the reputation of getting car sick!) It was so good to see my friend Caroline, who works at the office! We had a good hug. I was doing fine until I had a coughing jag while the Dr was talking to us. This dang virus will not let go! I was much better after a cup of water and some kleenex. (The air conditioning was blowing which probably didn't help matters.) But, by the time we got home I was exhausted and I needed a good nap. So, I do have limits, even though my head would like to think that I don't. Today I am resting up so that tomorrow, hopefully, I will be able to go over to Kevin and Aly's house for a little birthday celebration for Kevy Jr who turned 2 on the 11th!! His cousin, Hannah, and Aunt Priscilla are visiting from VA. Hannah is 6 mos old, and her daddy, Greg, is deployed in Kandahar, Afghanistan right now. He is scheduled to return in October, so I hope you will keep him and all of our troops in your prayers, as well. I am so grateful for all the prayers and well wishes, they really help keep me strong. Thank you!!
Love, Shelley
8/10/2015 So far, today has been really good! I actually took the dogs out, walked to the mailbox at the end of the driveway, took a little stroll around the yard, and planted a geranium that has survived in the plastic pot all summer. Ok, so I probably will take a long nap when I finish with this, but still, great progress!! I can't wait to get some strength back. But it will be in baby steps, I'm sure. I'm still working daily on the digestive issues, what to eat, when, how much....One day can be so different than the day before. One step forward, two steps back sometimes! I feel like I have a blockage or an ulcer right at the top of stomach when I swallow. (It's totally possible...I'm not worrying yet, this is all temporary!) My nail beds are turning dark, like I hammered my fingers. Not all of them, just a few and some are worse than others. So many weird things can happen during chemo. I still feel like I've had the flu for 2 months! I'm sure this hanging-on-virus isn't helping. I'm still nasal-y and have a weird congested cough that comes from deep down. But little perks like having Stephen, Jill and adorable Sam the Man stop by for a quick hello yesterday, and Joy delivering some Chiavetta's dinners from a fundraiser that her son was doing, help to lift the mood. Like I said, baby steps....one day at a time!
Love, Shelley
8/5/15 Just a quick entry since I'm not feeling too well. But it's all good news! Dominic, Aly and Kevin went home from the hospital on Monday night. All the tests were normal and Domi (that's what his brother calls him) has had no further events, so it remains a mystery, I guess! I'm sure his Mommy is watching him like a hawk. He is fine and happy, and so are we!! I was cleared for my last big A/C treatment and all went as planned. It kicked my butt as usual, but I will get better after the next several days. After the nulasta shot today we met with the NP who is handling the genetic testing. Results are in and there are no detected mutations on any of the genes tested. YAY! So that means it is not necessary to have bi-lateral mastectomy and all other possible cancer mutations that were tested were negative, too. So, all great news and now I will be resting for the next few days and trying to eat when I can. I slept for 3 hours this afternoon! We did, however, receive some very sad news over the weekend. Steve's (our) Aunt Rose Falzone passed away during a heart procedure in New Jersey. Uncle John is my mother-in-law's brother and only remaining sibling. Our love and prayers go out to him and the family. We will miss and remember her always.